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If your child expresses no interest in the baby, don't be alarmed and don't force it.

Some occasions, like breastfeeding, excludes older kids. For these times, try to have toys on hand so that you can feed the baby without being interrupted or worrying about an older child feeling left out. Take advantage of chances for one-on-one time with older kids. Knowing that there's special time just for them may help ease any resentment or anger about the new baby.

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Also remind relatives and friends that your older child might want to talk about something other than the new baby. If relatives or friends ask how they can help, suggest a fun activity or something special for the older child. Continue to send your older child to childcare or to school, if you're able.

But keeping normal routines is helpful for siblings. When your older child comes home from childcare or school, plan for some quality family time. With all of the changes that a new baby can bring, some older kids might struggle as they try to adjust.

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Encourage older kids to talk about their feelings about the new baby. If a child cannot express those feelings, don't be surprised if he or she tests limits or reverts to speaking in baby talk. If your child acts up, don't bend the rules, but understand what feelings may be motivating that behavior. In fact, sometimes the jealousy is toward the unborn child and the older child will make it very clear that she is not looking forward to the baby at all, she wants it to go away.


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Sometimes jealousy rears its head when the baby starts to smile and becomes more interactive and the adults are cooing and making nice over the baby. Some children will not exhibit signs of insecurity or jealousy for several months because the new baby is sleeping or being quiet. The best thing is for mom and dad to make special one-on-one time everyday, maybe even twice a day, for the oldest child that is sacrosanct, especially if that child is exhibiting insecurity early on.

They need to ensure that those special times continue after the new baby arrives. This is especially true if there are no grandparents in the picture. They want to be recognized for who they were before the baby arrived. Another simple thing you can do is if you intend to move the first child out of the crib into a bed, you want to do that a good couple of months ahead of time before the baby arrives. You want the child to understand that the new bed is a great place to be and that they are not being shoved out of their favourite spot to a big, strange bed.

They need time to adjust. Q: How do you deal with a child who act outs with a new baby in the family regresses, throws tantrums, etc. They need to be taken to a quiet place and allowed to calm down. There should be no discipline during the tantrum. What they need from you is to be calm and offer comfort and understanding. At some point, it may not be for awhile, you can talk to her — if she is old enough — about what she was feeling at the time of the tantrum. What a child needs here is a chance to regroup with an understanding parent, and then to the extent that she can actually talk about it or you can talk about it, help her with her words.

The next time you start to feel bad come talk to me first. My own son was toilet-trained when my second son was born and he was toilet-trained for the first two or three months after his brother arrived and then he started wetting the bed at night.

He had no control over it, it was just something that happened. We would talk about it, I would tell him not to drink too much before bed and eventually he went back to his regular behaviour.

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This is the new world for him and you can understand how sad he is that he is no longer the centre of attention, and eventually he will adjust. It is a big, big change for most first children.

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Some children are going to be very sensitive to the loss of being the centre of attention and some children will really roll with it. No, this is all normal.


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  6. A: Reading storybooks about new siblings , visiting friends who have newborns and including the eldest child in the preparations for the baby are all terrific ideas. The child should be helping because this is what you do in your family, you help each other out. There are many books available and parents can scan through which ones fit with their particular view of life and how much they feel their child could or should know.

    You can pick and choose among those for yourself. If you think you are going to change that routine, do it before the baby arrives. I would give kids three to six months to adjust to a new baby; cut them some slack. If you try to force them before they can handle it, all you do is increase their need to cling to you and be demanding. Give them awhile to adjust and be understanding as much as you can. Carol Crill Russell, B. Read more: 7 things you need to know about your second pregnancy 5 tips to help toddlers cope with new siblings 7 secret tricks and tips from parents of more than one kid.

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